i have started a band and you are in it


everyone in the band is a genius
we all have creative control
everyone is a little afraid of us

during practice we sing into microphones
then tao lin speaks to the bassist in private
he tells the bassist to do more triplets and chords

the bassist doesn’t get angry
and he doesn’t play any more triplets or chords

tao lin looks pissed over in the corner
holding onto his jealous girlfriend who is holding a guitar
tao lin does some hand motions to represent triplets and chords
but the bass player doesn’t see so tao lin’s girlfriend leaves him
but later she comes back like nothing happened

a lot of people are in the band and it is going well
we are the grammy we wear the rockstarrobes
tao lin huddles us all around him like a coach
he tells us about a plot to get his girlfriend to sing alone
no one pays attention everyone starts playing while tao lin plots
he grabs the mic and sings the lyric, ‘i pretended to leave you
because i am a bad and immature person’
it sounds alright
later he gives the bassist a list of rules and the bassist
starts a petition to kick tao lin out of the band the petition says,
‘i really like this band, i really like being in a big band with everyone.
but if we don’t kick tao lin out of the band then i will make him do pushups
i will make him do five hundred pushups while he hums the clown song,
you know the one they play when the bear wearing a hat is on the unicycle,
then i will stand on his spine while he does the last ten pushups to paralyze him
from the neck down.’

and we don’t want tao lin to be paralyzed
se we kick him out of the band